Ware your parents strict while you were growing up and are you a strict parent now? In today’s article, we will talk about if this is a good way to raise children and what are the benefits for the kids.
According to researchers, strict parents foster better children!
A study was conducted in 2015 which was published by the Institute for Social and Economic Research, University of Essex professor Ericka Rascon-Ramirez explains:
“[The] measure of the expectations in this study reflects a combination of aspirations and beliefs about the likelihood of access to higher education declared by the majority of parents, in most cases the mother.”
In, a four years period of time Doctor and Professor Rascon-Ramirez studied a database of 15,500 schoolgirls. All of them between the ages of thirteen and fourteen. It was discovered that children who have strict mothers ware more confident and secure.
The children of the more liberal parents had a much higher number of premature pregnancies. Also, children that have strict parents ware a lot more successful at school and they have a much greater chance of finishing the school, have a good job and be successful in life.
“In many cases, we succeeded in doing what we believed was more convenient for us, even when this was against our parents’ will. But no matter how hard we tried to avoid our parents’ recommendations, it is likely that they end up influencing, in a more subtle manner, choices that we had considered extremely personal…
What our parents expected about our school choices was, very likely, a major determinant of our decisions about conceiving a child or not during our teenage years.”
However, psychotherapist Philippa Perry believes that there must be a balance when it comes to parenting. If the parents are too strict it can turn the child into a liar, since it will feel unsafe, to tell the truth.
Factors like this include excessive discipline, shaming the child in front of others and pressuring the child to be perfect.
“We do our kids no favors at all when we persecute them for lying. We can be curious about the lie, we can be interested in it, and look at our part in it. But being draconian and rigid about it is not going to make a situation better.”
Therefore finding a middle ground is essential for proper development of a child. Numbers show that Asian-American students are intellectually superior to the rest of the ethnic groups. Experts believe that it is in their culture to reward and punish their children depending on the situation.
Here are the differences between authoritarian and permissive parenting:
In authoritarian parenting:
- Children are prone to lying and are ‘good’ only when surrounded by authorities
- Child-parent relationships are based on fear and lack of empathy
- Excessive discipline causes rebellious children
- Strict discipline makes children believe that use of power is always right
In permissive parenting:
- Children do not learn about self-management as there are no healthy limitations
- There is no tolerance for legitimate feelings of sadness and disappointment
- All desires of the children are fulfilled at someone else’s expense
- Parents accept compromises even when they shouldn’t
These two limits are extreme and as a parent, you should always find a middle ground. It is important to set healthy limits and also never forget about the empathy.